Diamonds

Rating

Director

John Asher

Screenplay

Allan Aaron Katz

Length

1h 31m

Starring

Kirk Douglas, Dan Aykroyd, Corbin Allred, Lauren Bacall, Kurt Fuller, Jenny McCarthy, Mariah O’Brien, June Chadwick, Lee Tergesen, Val Bisiglio

MPAA Rating

R/PG-13

Review

PREFACE:
In the early 2000s, I was writing reviews for an outfit called Apollo Guide Reviews. That website has since been closed down.

Attempting to reconstruct those reviews has been an exercise in frustration. Having sent them to Apollo Guide via email on a server I no longer have access to (and which probably doesn’t have records going back that far), my only option was to dig through The Wayback Machine to see if I could find them there. Unfortunately, while I found a number of reviews, a handful of them have disappeared into the ether. At this point, almost two decades later, it is rather unlikely that I will find them again.

Luckily, I was able to locate my original review of this particular film. Please note that I was not doing my own editing at the time, Apollo Guide was. As such, there may be more than your standard number of grammatical and spelling errors in this review. In an attempt to preserve what my style had been like back then, I am not re-editing these reviews, which are presented as-is.

REVIEW:
On-screen relationships have changed dynamically since early silent features where the bonds between parents and their children were usually well defined. Today, it often takes an entire movie adventure to strengthen family ties. Diamonds is more than just a male bonding film, it’s an enjoyable ride through the lives of three men who find that love and loot aren’t all there is in life.

Fifty years after Kirk Douglas starred in the boxing epic Champion, he and scenes from that film feature prominently in Diamonds. In what seems like a far-later sequel to Champion, Douglas plays an ex-prizefighter named Harry whose only desire is to find the diamonds he received for blowing a fight during his glory days. His grandson Michael (Corbin Allred) is the only person who believes him until he convinces his father Lance (Dan Aykroyd) to kidnap Harry and take him to Reno to find the fabled gems.

This film definitely has its hokey moments, including several at a Reno brothel where all three men find comfort among prostitutes. Michael befriends the young, sexy and untalented Sugar (Jenny McCarthy) who’s everything but sweet, while Lance meets the kinky, pot-smoking and equally-untalented Tiffany (Mariah O’Brien). Meanwhile, Harry takes a liking to the kind headmistress, Sin-Dee, played by the always-radiant Lauren Bacall.

There are plenty of problems here…along with the hookers with hearts of gold, the film plays like most other mysteries of its kind. There’s a false climax in addition to a real one, and you can predict most of the words about to fall from the characters’ mouths. Douglas shows that even after a stroke, he can still give a good performance, but with the film seeming more like a showcase for the ailing legend than anything else, Diamonds is sometimes more stiff than McCarthy’s performance.

Aykroyd does better in dramas than comedies, but here doesn’t manage to eclipse his best work in Driving Miss Daisy. Allred is quite good and will make a fine actor one day, but must stay away from the cute-boy-on-the-prowl roles. Bacall is endearing as the head gold-hearted hooker and almost steals the show from the feisty Douglas.

In technique, Diamonds is rather placid. There are a few interesting camera moves, but nothing an audience is really likely to notice. The story shines through the schoolbook filmmaking without overshadowing it, a priority that many directors ignore.

There are certainly better movies out there, but this one still has a lot to offer. There are dozens of amusing moments along with poetic statements about the bonds of family. These Diamonds are neither flawless, nor fake, but are genuine enough to make you ponder your own ties to family.

Review Written

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