Anyone who loves movies (or television shows or theater or any narrative entertainment medium, really) knows the frustration, anger, sorrow and other emotions that go along with having portions of a movie spoiled for you. The other person may not realize that you haven’t seen the film yet (everyone has, haven’t they?) or that what they’re saying won’t diminish the experience you’ll have watching it for yourself.

It’s understandable to be excited about movies and want to talk about them with everyone. The problem is, what you say today can ruin someone else’s enjoyment of it tomorrow simply because you didn’t think about what you were saying or to whom.

No matter how hard you try, it seems impossible to avoid that which could impact your excitement about and joyous experience of any given movie. Would Citizen Kane, The Manchurian Candidate, Psycho, The Crying Game, The Sixth Sense or even The Empire Strikes Back have been the same had we known going in what those films’ key plot twists were? Anyone would (or at least should) say “absolutely not.”

While the twist ending or shock revelation may seem like obvious spoilers to anyone, there are plenty of other situations where revealing certain details of a film could critically impact how you approach and enjoy the movie. Lines of dialogue, specific scenes, unexpected guest stars and other elements can be just as impactful as the big reveals (just don’t go looking at those cast lists or quote sections at places like IMDb).

With the new Star Wars film, The Force Awakens, due in theaters this Friday, I’ve seen an abnormally large number of memes and requests that people not reveal details of the film to others. This is undeniably a big movie where many narrative elements are going to be rife for discussion and, hopefully, surprises.

This should tell us all one thing very clearly: no one wants their most anticipated movie of the year ruined by careless or unthinking comments leaked on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other social media (yes, even the real world social media of water coolers and cubicle walls). To help you understand how to share and not share information that could dampen the enthusiasm for or enjoyment of the new Star Wars film (or ANY movie), here’s a primer on how to avoid spoilers.

• No Status Updates / Initial Posts:: When talking about a film, it’s crucial to not go into detail right away. Most of us skim our timelines looking for key words that draw our attention to posts we might have an interest in. When we see someone talking about a film, our first instinct is to read what they’ve said and by the time that instinct is caught, it’s too late. We’ve already consumed the information and possibly ruined it for ourselves. With that in mind, do NOT post your thoughts or comments as the first item you post. Instead, say something like: “I’d like to talk about Star Wars: The Force Awakens. My post may contain SPOILERS. Do not read the replies if you don’t want anything ruined.”
• No Subject Lines / Headlines: The same applies for subject lines of e-mails and headlines of forum posts, newspaper articles, blog posts, or journalistic pieces. I know you may be tempted to draw the reader in with your comments, but revealing anything about a film in a subject line is crass and heartless. It’s the quickest way to get you, your site and/or your publication blacklisted by a reader.
• Use and Capitalize the Word “SPOILERS”: Anytime you know that what you’re about to post may contain spoilers, the best thing to do is reference the word in your post before you say anything and make it big and bold. All-Caps is great for this. Most of us who peruse content quickly will hit the word SPOILERS and immediately stop reading if we don’t want to know.
• No Memes: We know it’s tempting to share and have a good laugh over crazy cat pictures and still images from films that contain spoilers in the text written on the meme. These are incredibly dangerous because graphics very quickly draw the eye and you’ve consumed the contents before you realize you’re doing so. The best thing to do in this situation is simply not share the meme at all. That may defeat the purpose of social networking and viral sharing, but some of those people who create these kinds of images love the grieved expressions of those for whom they’ve ruined things. Don’t enable them.
• Stills and Screencaps: Apart from the illegality (copyright laws) of sharing a screen-captured image, especially of a film that’s currently in release, those screencaps could contain visual details that an astute viewer could pick up on that might reveal information they weren’t prepared to see. As in the “No Memes” rule, graphics are the most easily consumed media the eye can witness. They have greater power than you think, so just be cautious and don’t share them at all. Yes, that means not even on Instagram or similar sites/platforms.
• No Twitter: This one may be the hardest one of all. Whatever you do, do not joke about, share, discuss or otherwise reference material from a film, other than to perhaps say you loved it. Twitter only allows 140 characters. That’s not a lot to parse and when your feed is filled with posts, isolating the ones that are dangerous, even if they are labeled with SPOILERS, is perhaps a bit too tough for everyone. It’s best to err on the side of caution. If you insist on sharing it on Twitter, it is absolutely crucial that you apply the All-Caps SPOILERS rule.
• Use Caution at the Workplace: There are two reasons to use caution at work. Voices carry fairly easily and people tend to be a lot nosier than they would believe. Overhearing a conversation is fairly easy in an office environment, even if you aren’t intending to. Therefore, if you insist on talking about the movie at work, do so in an off-premise area. Even a break room (or bathroom) can be dangerous if someone walks in at the wrong time. If you can’t control yourself, whisper like anything louder than a baby’s breath will trigger your certain death.
• Ask First: Before talking about the film with your co-workers, friends, family, distant relatives, crazy subway denizens or anyone else, ask them if they want to talk about the film. Don’t just start blathering on about it without making sure that A) they’ve seen the film or B) want to talk about it. This is good general social etiquette, but easy to miss when you’re among friends with whom you share the most salacious topics. When you do this, you give someone the opportunity to opt out of the conversation. The next step is very important: abide by their wishes. Don’t ignore them and keep going. Don’t swap topics and even tangentially return to the film later. Just move on and stay off the topic. No matter how long you wait after this initial question, ask it again. The moratorium may not be permanent, but even if they end up seeing the film, they may just not want to talk about it. Respect that.
• No Talking During the Movie: While we’re on the subject of not spoiling the moviegoing experience of others, there’s one thing you can do that you might be surprised is so effective. It works both in terms of spoiling plot details, and the physical and mental enjoyment of the movies. When you chat with your neighbor at a movie, whether it’s packed or sparsely attended, even whispers can carry great distances. Those whispers draw the viewer out of the cinematic experience easily and they become grating distractions to their enjoyment. If you have to explain to your partner what’s going on in the film, especially a child, then they are probably not old enough to be watching movies anyway. If they are, then it’s important to remember: the movie theater is NOT your living room. You are not alone within your personal space where pausing the movie and going to the bathroom or chattering about what’s going on is acceptable (if everyone in your living room is ok with it, that is). You are in public with others. Show some courtesy and respect for your fellow viewers and keep quiet.

There are probably other ways you could avoid hindering another person’s enjoyment of a film and by all means, use them. These, however, are the best ways to protect your significant and insignificant others from the unfortunate demise of their entertainment experience.

You know what else? This applies to ANY movie, not just Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Just because there are more people demanding to remain free of spoilers in my Facebook feed than ever in the history of Facebook doesn’t mean that it’s the only movie to which these rules should apply. It should apply to any movie, even ones you assume everyone’s seen, and shouldn’t be spoiled just because they are “common knowledge.”

We joke about how everyone already knows who Citizen Kane‘s Rosebud was, who was murdering all those people in Psycho, and who Luke’s father was in The Empire Strikes Back; however, even if you can’t believe someone hasn’t seen these films, there are plenty of people who haven’t. If you want them to get the same level of enjoyment you got out of a film that could be new, 5, 10, 35 or even 70 years old, be courteous and be respectful. Maybe you’ll uncover a new fan of your favorite movie simply because you made the conscious decision not to ruin it for them.

** P.S. There IS one meme you are welcome to share: the one attached to this post. It succinctly outlines these rules. Share it. Learn it. Live it.